I'm Going Out

Ugh- so yes this is the post that I have to redo because I so fabulously deleted it. To try and make it sound like I am not such a dumb, Mac illiterate blonde I must explain.  We have this cute little thing called a mifi for internet usage.  It allows us to get internet usage from Cell Phone towers.  So we signed up and have a thirty day trial- thank goodness because it is so going back.  We can only use 5 Gb a month- really thats all.  I can burn 5gb in one minute.  Anyways, back to how I am awesome and deleted my post.  So I had wrote my awesome post, offline (to save usage), and then turned on the the mifi.  Well of course I was working "offline" and the second the computer realized it was "online" it refreshed my work and took it back to the log in page to sign in, therefor losing my work.  I know I should have copied and pasted it just to be safe but come on, I was only 1 cup of coffee deep and it wasn't even noon yet- gimme a break will ya?! 

Anyways, last last weekend we went out and about on the town and I have to explain how "going out" is so much different here then anywhere else that Dale and I have lived. 

While living in Seattle getting ready to go out started a minimum of 2 hours prior to estimated leave the house time.  It was necessary to change at least 6 times and I always returned back to outfit number 1- of course.  After deciding on the right outfit it was time to pour myself into the tightest pair of Spanks ever made, slip on the outfit of choice and put on my "oh so cute" shoes.  These shoes however had zero arch support, minimum of a 3 inch heel and were nearly impossible to walk in- but dang I looked good :)  Upon leaving the house we headed into the city, which was only 18 miles away, but depending on traffic, this could take an hour- and thats not counting trying to find a decently close and or safe parking spot.  When we get downtown to our bar of choice the circling begins- trying to find a good parking spot.  After 30 or so minutes (on a good night) we settle for a spot half a mile away and we start walking, or limping because my cute shoes are useless for walking. We finally reach the bar of choice and get in line with everyone else and wait.  At this point, I usually take one shoe off, lean on Dale and rub that foot and then switch and repeat.  When we finally get to the front of the line (minimum 30 minutes) we meet the steroid loving bouncer.  He doesn't talk much, just grunts something about seeing ID and nods, or at least I think he was nodding because he really didn't have a neck.  Then its time to pay the anorexic girl with the overly dramatic eye makeup and obnoxiously fake boobs our $20 cover charge and - we are in! As we head to the bar to pay way too much for domestic draft beer and get bumped around by everyone because they are way over packed and the fire inspector probably doesn't care.  Anyways, starting to dance the night away on the 4x4 dance floor and you can't help but notice everyone is high on E or some other super hip new drug and its pretty entertaining to watch for the evening.  Finally the ugly lights come up and people start to herd out the door like drunken cattle and head for the carts.  Carts you ask?  Yes, the hot dog carts.  These things are near every bar and club in downtown Seattle and it doesn't matter who you are- everyone stands in line for a Seattle dog to help soak up the alcohol.  A Seattle Dog is a polish dog with grilled onions and cream cheese and topped with mustard; it is probably one of the best kept secrets of the area.  Finally everyone pours into taxi cabs and heads home, just to do it the next night.

Salt Lake City was waaay different.  The first time we went out, I followed my ritual from Seattle and we headed out.  One of the biggest changes here so far is that we could walk to the bars/clubs downtown.  We lived a half a mile from downtown- up the hill.  Anyways, so we get to our first bar and there is no wait to get in and the cover is only $5.  The bouncer was totally a meat head but he smiled and I could understand him.  As we make our way to the bar, we are happy to see the beer is not too overpriced and once again the bartender smiled... weird.  Anyways- I was waay overdressed.  This is completely a whole new ball game.  The biggest difference to note here is all the weird liquor laws.  When we first moved here, you had to be a member to drink at the bar.  Yes, a card carrying, fee paying member to drink.  Thankfully, the Iron Curtain (literally what it was called) fell in July and we didn't have to be members.  So another weird thing- 1 drink limit here.  You can't go to the bar and get a beer and a shot, or 2 beers or a double of your mixed drink.  It doesn't even matter if you were legitimately buying a drink for someone else- 1 drink limit is the law.  Would you like a double?  Ha ha ha don't even think about it. In most places last call is 145 am and everyone is out by 215.  Not in Utah! Last call is 1245 and EVERYONE (staff included) has to be out by 2.  Lame! Sadly, there are no hot dog carts in Salt Lake City :(  So we stumble the half mile up the hill and I vow- sandals only!!  I can handle this place!

Ahhh Fairbanks...... throw all the rules our the window.  The first time we went out, we went to karaoke and I dressed down- not enough.  Getting ready to go out to the bar means, put on your good Carhart and your nice ball cap.  Wow- was I over dressed! I am not trying to sound like Reese Witherspoon from Sweet Home Alabama but literally, a lady had her baby in the bar at midnight- this is normal. Our favorite bar is seasonal because they have no heat, no insulation and weird plumbing.  On our first experience here we witnessed a dog run in the front door, across the dance floor and out the back door.  He was soon followed by a hairy man, carrying a rope and a beer- he chased and didn't spill a drop, impressive.  Wearing Under Armour to the bar is highly recommended and not frowned upon at all. 

So, obviously the bar scenes are all waay different and very unique. Don't worry I will have more fun stories like this soon!